tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-355169792012-01-21T03:47:12.596+11:00Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.comBlogger591100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-83027613948615305232012-01-21T00:54:00.009+11:002012-01-21T03:45:43.915+11:00

Information on parenting is like that on climate change: there’s a helluva lot of it out there, and most of it is fairly accurate and helpful but some is woefully irresponsible and strung together on dodgy pretexts. Such articles go against common sense, but people cling to them because they want an excuse not to take the tougher path — they want a let-off.I just ran into one of these disastrous

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-67205021723098103502010-01-14T21:21:00.008+11:002010-01-15T01:08:07.654+11:00

It’s a shocking format for a mainstream TV show when you stop to think about it: woman dates 30 men over a few weeks — individually and in groups — whittles them down, sleeps with some, and couples with the last man standing. That’s The Bachelorette, the US reality series that’s been running, on-and-off, since 2003. What legitimises it in the eyes of puritanical Americans is that it’s all for

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-72334631002926528212007-12-02T08:27:00.000+11:002008-12-11T20:46:18.958+11:00

Bias at the ABC. Yes, it exists. But no, it’s not left-wing bias — it’s bias well to the right, courtesy of the changes to the Board of Directors that Howard instigated. The Sideshow with Paul McDermott has gone the way of The Glass House before it. Both were popular shows, regarded with great affection by many, and both were relatively cheap to make. In both cases scheduling changes

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-3200672663683135912007-11-09T08:31:00.001+11:002009-08-05T03:43:19.799+10:00

OK, so you’ve read Subliminal Advertising on 10. Seriously. And you’re thinking “Yeah, sure, Ten hasn’t acted above board, but we’re only talking about a total of around one second of a two hour show. Is this really such a big deal?”A corporate-run broadcaster secretly implanting thoughts into the minds of over a million Australians? Well yes, I think that can safely be called a big deal!

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-4890092643024362842007-11-06T08:10:00.000+11:002008-12-11T20:46:19.439+11:00

Network 10’s coverage of the ARIA Awards (28/10/07) contained subliminal ads for several major sponsors. Their logos appeared in single frames of 1/25th of a second, hidden within the transition graphics.The coverage was produced by Roving Enterprises, production company of impish multi-millionaire Rove McManus. They are trying to pass the buck to Network 10, but the transition graphics were

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-80607337201295354432007-10-25T08:58:00.000+10:002008-12-11T20:46:19.553+11:00

Politics. A can of worms. If someone tells The Guru they positively worship Philip Ruddock and Kevin Andrews, should he set them a koan (a Zen riddle designed to expand the mind), or simply convince them they have powers of levitation and direct them to the nearest cliff?Party politics is an emotive issue; partisan attitudes are rife, and free thinkers are in short supply. George Washington

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-14469738264526071342007-10-15T07:15:00.001+10:002009-08-05T03:13:42.716+10:00

Dawn of the Second Age of EnlightenmentThe 15th of October, 2007 is the first Blog Action Day. Many thousands of bloggers around the globe are joining forces to raise awareness of a single issue — this year the environment. Just as importantly, it is about demonstrating the power of unity, and the ability of a united world to change for the better. The Guru has signed up to be a part of the

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-73379721802499992012007-09-27T07:55:00.000+10:002008-12-11T20:46:19.872+11:00

On July 4th, 1776, the thirteen original American States declared independence from Great Britain, famously expounding the inalienable rights of “Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness”.The document, which became known as the Declaration of Independence, set out grievances against King George III, who had ignored his Prime Minister’s advice and brought in harsh new taxes for the American

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-33591053666347246162007-09-25T11:52:00.000+10:002008-12-11T20:46:20.066+11:00

“Is global warming a storm in a teacup? Isn’t it just part of a cycle of natural variation that’s been going on for hundreds of millions of years? Isn’t the scientific community divided on the causes and what the effects will be? Even if it is manmade, what’s the point of action when India and China are industrialising so fast?”As ever, The Guru has the answers you seek, so sit back and

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-88265913389543901822007-09-11T08:39:00.001+10:002008-12-11T20:46:20.234+11:00

Wanted: Meaningful Overnight RelationshipMeet Trish Young, single mum of seven years and penner of the above dating site tag-line. Trish, who obtained a level of notoriety by reaching the No. 1 spot in the RSVP Top 100, was interviewed for The Age’s Green Guide of 2/8/07:What’s your dating policy?I always maintain five men in my life who take on different roles: a man I go to the movies with, a

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-63362940335728915892007-07-22T01:35:00.000+10:002008-12-11T20:46:20.318+11:00

It’s part of the Big Brother Australia formula that they try to stir the pot in the latter stages with a loud-mouthed intruder. Transsexual Nadia (BB05) had evidently been a handful pre-op during BBUK, but as a (post-op) Intruder on BBAUS she was fairly civil. No-nonsense Perry (BB06) did make some waves, but for the most part had a maternal role in the House. Michelle, however, who joined

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-19312054608170163392007-06-26T08:03:00.001+10:002007-06-26T08:04:30.502+10:00

The world is slowly becoming less segregated by ‘race’ (a perceived term, with no genetic basis). Unfortunately, religion has stepped up to take the slack, and religious fundamentalism is rife (and not just in the US!)If it weren’t for the little detail of a potential World War III, it’d be almost funny. “I am Christian and you are Muslim. We have nothing in common; you worship a false god.

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-10636896622165597162007-06-17T07:49:00.000+10:002007-10-18T06:28:24.104+10:00

Kate was a heinous bitch at the start of her BB experience. But after only 9 days, her outlook changed greatly. In contrast, Emma became cattier and more scheming almost with every passing day. 50 days in, she had established a strong, inequitable matriarchy in the House. And all of a sudden, much to her surprise, Emma was out on her ear.“What they've got is working for them. OK?” explained

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-43040086399365208162007-06-10T08:28:00.000+10:002008-12-11T20:46:21.487+11:00

A new chocolate bar ad has updated the fairytale of the beautiful Princess and her Prince Charming for the 21st Century:Prince C has a skip in his step. He prepares to take leave of his Princess, on the porch of her palatial apartment. “Well, I've had a great time.” Princess P rolls her eyes, cocks her head and smiles faintly, but says nothing. “And I have your number.” “Yes. Yes you do,”

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-3967370460416258942007-06-07T01:45:00.000+10:002007-09-28T23:48:05.064+10:00

It is said there are only two pains in the world: pain of discipline and pain of regret.What, sadly, many people discover too late is that the pain of regret hurts far more. It’s a crucial role of parenting to make the connection between motivation and reward — the payoff of achievement. But the ’90s and ’00s have been all about instant self-gratification — the Playstation leaves a typical ’

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-54090802660516682812007-06-06T06:29:00.002+10:002009-08-05T03:01:44.064+10:00

Don’t wanna be an American idiot; one nation controlled by the mediaSo goes the Green Day track ‘American Idiot’. It was a big hit, and resonated with a huge number of US teens. It’s hard to imagine the same sort of success if the song was about any other country. ‘Venezuelan Idiot’? Doesn’t really work. ‘Spanish Idiot’? ¡Que not! But ‘American Idiot’ is instantly understood by many in

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-15860034183036049142007-06-04T07:06:00.000+10:002007-06-05T06:30:55.355+10:00

This intense three-way dialogue continues for some time. In an attempt to find the common ground, Andrew and Aleisha both discuss their analysis of him:Andrew: “When I see you look at me — there's only been a couple of times this has happened — but when you and Nick were chatting and I was in the pool I was just like —”  *does impression of thoughtful look*  “— and that's me analysing —”Jamie: “

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-7851363818025154982007-06-02T08:33:00.000+10:002007-10-18T22:04:41.238+10:00

A lot of tears are shed in the Big Brother House. But Jamie’s experience on Day 40 was something more profound. To pass it off as a mixture of stress from the weekly task and the effects of alcohol would be to miss Jamie’s crisis of self.The catalyst was a three-way conversation with Aleisha and Andrew. Aleisha in particular was bothered by his analytical stares and questions. When Rebecca

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-12666737869169952512007-06-01T06:51:00.000+10:002007-06-01T06:52:29.056+10:00

They say the path to Hell is paved with good intentions. The man who, aided by his daughter, held up a sign at the last BB Live Eviction show saying “Emma, Your Dad Is Dead” doubtless had good intentions. But if he’s expecting a VIP pass to the Celestial Temple he could be in for a nasty shock.Moral outrage is emotive, and can lead to actions which are very poorly thought through. The Age

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-66350855789544135602007-05-28T07:16:00.000+10:002007-09-28T23:43:54.477+10:00

Demet — OutDemet’s sixth sense? Suspect. When flirtation becomes a way of life, a person can have a seriously skewed take on things. Having said that, a lot of Demet’s vibes were on the money. During the White Room ordeal, while Kara bawled her eyes out Demet calmly said “I think you were just waiting for an excuse to cry”, and carried on practising belly-dance moves.Emma discusses her

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-2136339518152171872007-05-26T07:18:00.000+10:002007-06-01T06:56:31.680+10:00

The Age reports that Emma’s father has passed away. The headline? “Grief expert slams Big Brother”. Naturally. There’s nothing like a little moral outrage to shift newspapers.Emma's boyfriend Tim Stanton told News Limited that Mr Cornell had asked that his daughter not be told of his death until she left the house.So The Age is outraged that Big Brother has gone against a dying man’s wishes

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-80878843341739908912007-05-24T08:47:00.000+10:002008-12-11T20:46:22.070+11:00

“It’s time to go, Demet!” Fortune has smiled on Emma: of the four nomination rounds to date she’s been saved in 1, 2 & 4 by the Twist, and Round 3 saw her up against Demet, the second least popular White Room inmate.It’s annoying that the producers withhold how many of the total votes are Saves and how many are Evicts. However, armed with a paper napkin, Biro and steely determination it’s

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-64285420597951050992007-05-20T06:53:00.002+10:002009-08-05T02:56:10.171+10:00

Sunshine is a film that stays with you. Flawed, certainly. But it is forgiven much because it dares to stare into the abyss. Danny Boyle’s epic film is ostensibly about a last-ditch mission to save Earth by rejuvenating a failing Sun — a manned ship, the Icarus II, is to guide a huge payload directly into the heart of our sun. But ultimately it’s about the huge existential challenge of facing

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-29211500480861795862007-05-18T07:26:00.002+10:002009-08-05T02:49:30.965+10:00

‘The struggle to stay awake’ is the title of a news item on the BB website. It refers to the HMs’ weekly task, but could just as easily be about Big Brother viewers since Bodie & TJ were evicted on Day 22.“What — do — you — want — from — me?” Bodie was at times suffocated by TJ’s attentions. Her answer was delivered to the Diary Room, not Bodie: “I want to be loved. I have a lot of love to

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-74279176129749096732007-05-11T07:54:00.000+10:002007-05-20T06:53:03.727+10:00

The first official evictee of BB05 was Angela. “Who?” you ask. Kate won’t be so soon forgotten. And not just because of the controversy with the crying robot babies.Kate’s time in the House, albeit brief, raised some interesting questions about bitchiness. For a start, how much of hers was as a result of the sad loss she’d experienced 18 months earlier? By Day 9, when the baby-caring task

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-47945398235535226412007-05-08T01:49:00.000+10:002007-05-20T06:52:23.511+10:00

The Guru has already sounded off against those Big Brother Bashers who wish to banish the show from our screens. But Big Brother also suffers at the hands of some of its own viewers.The typical profile goes something like this: dips into the show, mainly when it’s made the news or there’s the prospect of a juicy noms/eviction ep; feels (or claims to feel) eminently superior to all of the HMs;

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-75839231349499709252007-05-05T07:39:00.000+10:002007-09-28T23:42:27.624+10:00

OK, so you’ve read The Plight of John & Ashley, but you’re still left with questions aplenty. Well here are your answers:What actually happened?Camilla crawled between Ash and John on a bed and playfully said “You're not going to turkey-slap me, are you?” When they said they weren’t, Camilla giggled and replied “You are, you liars; let me in!” John held Camilla’s arms, while Ash nudged Camilla

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-21922639187948725592007-04-29T06:50:00.000+10:002007-10-18T06:45:20.813+10:00

You know what really grinds my gears? (What’s that? You love my Peter Griffin impression? Why, thank you!) The travesty of justice that was John & Ashley’s trial by media last year.After they were ejected from the Big Brother House 10 months ago, the media took the view that what they’d done — turkey-slap fellow housemate Camilla — was tantamount to sexual assault and that they should count

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-74238968664354960152007-04-28T07:59:00.000+10:002007-04-29T06:50:27.263+10:00

The Australian and New Zealand Army Corps landed at Gallipoli (Gelibolu), Turkey on April 25 1915, to begin an ill-conceived land campaign, resulting in heavy losses on both sides. ANZAC Day was established in remembrance.After 92 years, you would expect there to be a degree of objectivity. Yet the New Zealanders who formed a quarter of the Corps, the British and French troops who made up the

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-36442204236076135852007-04-24T08:29:00.000+10:002007-09-10T03:22:42.035+10:00

Year after year, Australian Big Brother selects a bunch of easy-going extraverts, similar in age, philosophical beliefs, ethnicity and attractiveness. Big Brother has been embraced all over the world, and elsewhere things are a lot more interesting.African Big Brother fills its House with people from countries across the continent, with widely differing cultures and traditions. BBUK has

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-72520229062311115412007-04-21T07:35:00.000+10:002008-12-11T20:46:22.809+11:00

The Chaser’s War on Everything, Wednesday evenings on the ABC, is pretty much the last bastion of biting political satire on Australian TV. (The Glass House, one of the ABC’s most popular programs, got axed. The suits cited needing to give other comedy a chance. But the smart money is on Howard having had a quiet word with the new ABC Head, after seething from all the replays of him, dressed

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-5098824471598629232007-04-09T01:01:00.000+10:002007-10-18T06:20:23.081+10:00

Yes, my thanks to a (2CV-obsessed) visitor from the UK for the kudos. As well as the UK, Guru receives visitors from the US, Canada and, of course, Australia. But other recent visitors have surfed here from such diverse countries as China, Israel, Kuwait, Latvia, Mexico and Poland*.So you will doubtless be excited to hear that Guru is now available in 20 languages! Well, not actually the whole

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-30473093349618454012007-04-02T07:08:00.000+10:002008-12-11T20:46:23.069+11:00

Whether it’s Aunty Babs or Mel Gibson, this handy table will let you quickly find and look up their star (or sun) sign.Mel was born 3rd Jan 1956. As you can see from the table, traditional wisdom would have him down as a Capricorn, but Al’s Theorem makes him a Cancer. Could a sign that can be ‘changeable, moody and overemotional’ explain a thing or two...?

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-12441964044951456332007-03-27T07:18:00.001+10:002011-01-16T22:24:34.078+11:00

So, you’ve found out which star sign you really are, according to Al’s Theorem. Time to get the low-down on your new sign: Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces.Aries  “The Ram”Northern Hemisphere: Mar 21 - Apr 20Southern Hemisphere: Sep 23 - Oct 22Known As: Adventurous and quick-witted.Recognized Strengths: Energetic, confident,

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-24764954924483981092007-03-27T06:53:00.000+10:002008-12-11T20:46:23.200+11:00

As promised, here’s a table for finding your true star sign, according to Al’s Theorem, if you were conceived and born in the Southern Hemisphere. Each Southern Hemisphere star sign is six away from the Northern Hemisphere sign.Just find your old star sign on the left, and you’ll see your new, adjusted sign on the right.NB. The theory is that your star sign would probably be keyed to your due

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-29139373067968332582007-03-27T06:50:00.000+10:002007-03-29T01:15:50.579+10:00

Settle down at the back. Nathan, is that gum I see? Something amusing you, Aeriela? How about sharing it with the whole class?Today’s astrology is based on a system developed by the ancient Greeks. (The word ‘horoscope’ comes from the Greek ‘horoskopos’, meaning ‘hour-watcher’.)Imagining the Earth to be unmoving, the Sun appears to traverse between east and west horizon daily, varying its

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-22092704674519185972007-02-25T06:59:00.000+11:002007-06-01T06:47:55.258+10:00

The hotter the weather, the more likely a turtle egg will hatch into a female. It’s one of countless examples of the environment affecting a creature’s traits. And it’s now solid empirical science.The book on us — humans — is still sketchy. But we already know that we have not one but many internal clocks, taking their cues in different ways (which is why long-haul flights leave us feeling so

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-16305614186453637992007-02-11T07:15:00.000+11:002007-05-05T07:33:14.512+10:00

Nothing gets the goat of Venerable* Guru Al Cad more than the politicians, pundits and puritanical-types who would ban reality TV series Big Brother.For the benefit of anyone who’s been living in a cave for the last seven years (hey there, Osama, how’s it hanging?) Big Brother films a dozen or so volunteers living in a house 24/7 for several months, or until they’re ‘evicted’. During their stay,

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-1170534088411957842007-02-04T07:19:00.000+11:002007-02-16T06:50:50.030+11:00

mateship n.  friendship, especially between two men or within a group of men, on terms of equality and mutual support.That’s the Encarta Dictionary definition; and the gist of other definitions I’ve found has been the same. Sounds innocuous enough.A lot of Australians take mateship very seriously indeed. It’s seen as one of the core Aussie values, along with ‘a fair go’, the Aussie spirit and —

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-1170445905941545752007-02-03T06:50:00.000+11:002007-09-28T23:48:05.065+10:00

Oh yeah, this isn’t TV; Gretel, I won’t be needing you after all.OK, so no live final. But from my previous posts on this subject you may be wondering if I’m implying it’s ‘better’ to have less partners. Am I ‘morally against’ having lots of sexual partners? Will fewer partners mean more happiness? How many is too many? Whoa, back up!Firstly, a reminder of what these posts have been about:

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-1170359364603655502007-02-02T06:40:00.000+11:002007-10-18T06:17:29.885+10:00

There seems to be a Celebrity version of just about every contestant-based show on TV. (OK, so there’s no Celebrity Dancing With The Stars!) But fear not, I’m not going to do a Celebrity version of each post. This is basically a continuation of Love vs Sex, using some hapless celebs as fodder...Celebrity personal lives have a habit of being disastrous. And ‘media intrusion’ is not generally

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-1170187322952076582007-01-31T07:00:00.000+11:002007-10-18T06:16:05.597+10:00

Sex. Small word; big subject; massive uptake! Yes, as people in the industrial world turn away from the yoke of religion, they stop briefly at the chemists before shacking up with some like-minded person. “Why not?” is the reasoning. “Sexual compatibility — it’s very important. Once I find that, the love will follow.”I’m afraid not; it doesn’t work like that. Each sexual partner you have ‘

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-1170012029884602932007-01-29T06:18:00.000+11:002007-01-29T06:20:29.896+11:00

Oh Jordan — aka Katie Price — what a blogger’s dream. Did you know she ran for Parliament in the UK?! Yes, really — in 2001. She got 713 votes. Perhaps she would have got more if it wasn’t for her only stated policy interest being (and this is absolutely true) “Free Plastic Surgery for All”!!!Oh Jordan, Jordan, Jordan...In 2004 she was one of the victims contestants in UK series I’m A

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-1169304612220756282007-01-21T01:48:00.000+11:002007-01-28T07:38:38.776+11:00

YouTube has fast moved from curiosity to cultural phenomenon to media essential for many, right up there with iPods, email and TV.If a visitor from Omicron Persei 8 were to determine human worth based on a couple of hours surfing YouTube, our chances of escaping the Death Ray would not be good. “These poor production values DEFY BELIEF!” “Those puny Earthlings have no talent – I laugh only at

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-1167767697079542782007-01-03T06:53:00.000+11:002007-01-03T07:33:35.840+11:00

Happy New Year, gurus of The World!2006 will go down in history as the year the largest CO² polluter in the world — America — and the largest per capita — Australia — acknowledged the problem and resolved to do something about it. Great news. (About 14 years behind the UK, but great news, nonetheless.)Of course, a growing minority had been forming the opinion that the dire predictions of so

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-1167767136165789412007-01-03T06:44:00.000+11:002007-01-03T06:46:09.060+11:00

There are, of course, 39 Steps to enlightenment. However, what with meditating (in the form of watching the new Battlestar Galactica), chanting (lines by The Cat Empire) and accumulating wisdom (a secret process involving ants, rye bread and acetone) The Guru has little time for posting them.Here you will find a regularly updated list of all Steps posted to date.Visit The Guru’s Guru

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-1165595539885475572006-12-09T01:30:00.000+11:002006-12-09T03:32:19.886+11:00

If you’ve caught any news reports of the Australian Mufti, Sheikh Taj El-Deen El-Hilali, speaking in English, you may well have thought that his English was so poor as to make his words incoherent. You would probably have made the assumption, though, that the head Islamic cleric in the Country was lucid and incisive, at least in his own language. But the translation of his highly controversial

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-1162840793672284562006-11-07T06:18:00.000+11:002006-11-07T06:19:53.686+11:00

The end of the world is nigh! That’s according to RaptureReady.com, the site that keeps an eye on such ‘evils’ as ‘Liberalism’ and those brought on by financial unrest — “The forces of darkness must be biding their time waiting for fiscal despair” — and number-crunches them into a ‘Rapture Index’. This is currently 157. It would’ve been 156, but some guy in Florida has been pretending to be

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-1162756516994523392006-11-06T06:39:00.000+11:002007-05-21T08:02:09.327+10:00

But a rating of three and a half tortilla chips out of five, especially when they’re dipped in guacamole with cashews, is no bad thing.Yes, The Guru is not an advocate of shinning up wooden poles wearing only a loincloth — the splinters don’t bear thinking about — preferring to widen his horizons. After all, what use are answers if they have no relevance in the real world?And Saturday night’s

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-1162240178211399072006-10-31T07:27:00.000+11:002007-02-16T06:50:02.451+11:00

US TV evangelist Joyce Meyer wants you to give God 10% of your income. Now Meyer has obviously thought through the logistics of this and has realised that God doesn’t actually have a bank account. So she’s generously offered hers!Why 10%? Well, she’s scoured The Bible and found an Old Testament passage (Malachi 3:9-10) that she contends supports this figure:Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-1162156657100730002006-10-30T08:16:00.000+11:002007-10-18T06:14:49.438+10:00

Arguably* the most widely accepted creation theory is this:In the beginning all was guacamole.**However, The Guru takes the Zen approach to creation theories – however appealing. Here are some bite-sized nuggets from his philosophy:Meaning and purpose are not reliant on a created universeThat life is wondrous and precious is empirically trueConcepts of a hereafter detract from making the most of

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-1160858621308181432006-10-15T06:42:00.000+10:002007-07-28T06:43:34.968+10:00

When The Guru isn’t dipping tortillas into fresh guacamole or watching 1990s episodes of The Simpsons he likes to impart his wisdom to gurus and would-be gurus.You can contact The Guru 24 hours a day with your queries and quandaries – either via the email address at the top of this page or by leaving a comment – and he will work hard, 24 hours a year, to answer them.If you email, let him know if

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-1160778571966391192006-10-14T08:29:00.000+10:002006-10-18T08:06:01.376+10:00

As detailed in The 39 Steps, fruitiness is at the core of the Guru’s Guru philosophy. While movements such as Scientology and Freemasonry are taken very seriously by members but seem incredibly wacky to the world at large, The Guru’s Guru aims to be as unfathomably weird as possible.You are therefore encouraged to chant “Et al et al; Al et al” to the tune of the chorus of Britney Spears’ Hit Me

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-1160778514364004602006-10-14T08:26:00.000+10:002006-10-18T08:01:41.806+10:00

There are, of course, 39 Steps to enlightenment:Step 1: Visit The Guru’s Guru oftenStep 2: Massage your ulnaHere at The Guru’s Guru, we embrace a daily dose of fruitiness. Does it focus your alpha waves? Centre your ch’i? Cleanse your chakra? Well, new thinking requires new terminology. So, we say it “massages your ulna”.Be sure to do one of the following every day:Stick a Post-It Note

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-1160341875942653492006-10-09T07:09:00.000+10:002006-10-23T06:39:02.603+10:00

A: It’s Really Simple Syndication. And it’s good for your karma.Imagine The Guru is off meditating in Communicado for 39 days. (It’s a lovely spot.) You keep diligently checking The Guru’s Guru every few days for updates, quietly getting increasingly frustrated. After a month, you give up your search for enlightenment, and start avidly reading News Corp blogs, naturally beginning a spiral

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-1160341686171959472006-10-09T07:07:00.000+10:002006-10-18T08:03:57.006+10:00

Not all gurus live on platforms atop wooden poles or in isolated caves. (The wi-fi tends to be icky.) But enlightenment in a world of fast food, traffic jams and spam is not an easy thing to achieve. Yes, finding nirvana isn’t as simple as a trip to the local Virgin Megastore.But there are answers. And you’ll find them right here. Just below the tasteful lime.So break out the guacamole and

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-1160341626074499812006-10-09T07:06:00.000+10:002007-10-18T06:12:47.097+10:00

A: Good to see you think about what you watch, as a conscientious guru should.The answer is No. But. That does not mean there isn’t a moral minefield to navigate. Trey Parker and Matt Stone vilify individuals and entire cultures. Be careful not to let that bigotry rub off on you.In conclusion, as the ever insightful Kenny once said, “Mm mm mmm, mmmm mmmmmm Mmmmm!”Links: Trey Parker — American

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-1160341509937952052006-10-09T06:59:00.005+10:002012-01-21T03:11:42.087+11:00

The first person to tell me what’s pictured in the title graphic will win an exciting prize!** Competition open to residents of Atlantis only

Al Cadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06512625539736869851noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35516979.post-1160341149120554532006-10-09T06:56:00.000+10:002007-09-08T06:54:33.713+10:00

A: You are searching for answers.The internet can be a handy thing. Want to know the length of Alaska’s Yukon River? No problemo – Google will happily spew out the answer (2,897 km) in under a second. How many Rutherfords in a Curie? Too easy: 0.00027027. You might have more trouble finding out the name of that groove between the nose and mouth, but the word philtrum will out in the end.But

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