Q: Why am I here?

A: You are searching for answers.

The internet can be a handy thing. Want to know the length of Alaska’s Yukon River? No problemo – Google will happily spew out the answer (2,897 km) in under a second. How many Rutherfords in a Curie? Too easy: 0.00027027. You might have more trouble finding out the name of that groove between the nose and mouth, but the word philtrum will out in the end.

But ask a question like “Is there a god, and, if so, is he pissed at me?” or “Where are my keys?” and all of a sudden the curtain gets drawn back, and we find that Google isn’t all-knowing after all, just a latter day Wizard of Oz.

Well, breathe easy, web-surfer, for you have finally found the site that can answer all of your questions...