In The Beginning...

Arguably* the most widely accepted creation theory is this:

In the beginning all was guacamole.**

However, The Guru takes the Zen approach to creation theories – however appealing. Here are some bite-sized nuggets from his philosophy:

• Meaning and purpose are not reliant on a created universe


• That life is wondrous and precious is empirically true


• Concepts of a hereafter detract from making the most of life


• Our minds are hardwired to believe in deities, but these varied beliefs have a history of causing conflict and clouding sentient thought


• Enlightenment requires tolerance, free thought and self-determination (unlike religions)

Plus, of course, guacamole only keeps for about a week, so it would’ve gone off.

* It should be noted that many advocates of this theory are not vocal in its support for fear of being stigmatised.

** Some have asked “From whence came the guacamole?”, “By what hand did it come into being?” or “How grew such a plenitude of avocados?” These are nonsensical questions, for the beginning is, by definition, that which has no past.