Saturday, February 03, 2007

Love vs Sex: The Live Final

Oh yeah, this isn’t TV; Gretel, I won’t be needing you after all.

OK, so no live final. But from my previous posts on this subject you may be wondering if I’m implying it’s ‘better’ to have less partners. Am I ‘morally against’ having lots of sexual partners? Will fewer partners mean more happiness? How many is too many? Whoa, back up!

Firstly, a reminder of what these posts have been about: the search for love. A lot of people are looking for love in the longer term, but for now want S.E.X. — and lots of it! Well maybe one day there’ll be a pill that’ll allow us to fall madly in love on demand. But for now I’m here to tell you: your plan won’t work!

Am I ‘morally against’ having lots of sexual partners? No. (Although when it comes to the sort of figures Charlie Sheen boasts, it’s hard to see how things like STDs can’t be a factor, so that seems like putting his own pleasure above the health of others.)

Will fewer partners mean more happiness? Maybe. A long-term relationship with your soul mate could lead to great happiness. And one night stands, for instance, can be soul-destroying, ie being stood up. Love is not about being happy, in the conventional sense; it’s about a fundamental feeling of wholeness, which trumps any transient pleasure. Love is a very big subject — more on Guru soon. And if you have a burning question, remember, you can always ask. (I can point you towards some very effective creams!)

How many is too many? 43. Just kidding. There’s no exact number of partners that ‘trips’ something in the brain to ‘switch off’ the ability to fall in love. As I said, it’s cumulative. But most people, after 43 partners, will not be able to fall truly, madly, deeply in love like you see in the movies.

Yeah, I know, it sucks.

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2 Comments:

Anonymous bec said...

"Love is not about being happy, in the conventional sense; it’s about a fundamental feeling of wholeness, which trumps any transient pleasure."
Right on

6/22/2007 10:46 pm  
Blogger Al Cad said...

Thank you! There seems to be a whole world of people out there that don’t get it, so it’s heart-warming to know there’s at least one who does.

I just came across this turgid quote by Germaine Greer, someone who, at least in 1970 (when she wrote The Female Eunuch), did not:

“Love, love, love—all the wretched cant of it, masking egotism, lust, masochism, fantasy under a mythology of sentimental postures, a welter of self-induced miseries and joys, blinding and masking the essential personalities in the frozen gestures of courtship.”

Your path will be a far, far richer one. Hope to see you back here some time...

6/24/2007 6:29 am  

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