Monday, January 29, 2007

Crossing Jordan... Off Your ‘Eligibles’ List

Oh Jordan — aka Katie Price — what a blogger’s dream. Did you know she ran for Parliament in the UK?! Yes, really — in 2001. She got 713 votes. Perhaps she would have got more if it wasn’t for her only stated policy interest being (and this is absolutely true) “Free Plastic Surgery for All”!!!

Oh Jordan, Jordan, Jordan...

In 2004 she was one of the victims contestants in UK series I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! Along with just about the most bizarre mix of celebs you could imagine, including Lord Brocket, cheesy DJ Mike Read, former Sex Pistol Johnny Rotten and ex-Atomic Kitten Kerry Katona, she endured tropical storms and various debasing trials in the isolated rainforests of Queensland.

And then there was Peter André... Peter — perhaps having been breast fed too long as a child — was obviously attracted to Jordan, and she liked the attention. He began pouring his heart out on national TV, and she enjoyed toying with him.

“Now hang on just a minute,” you’re probably saying, if you follow this site ‘religiously’, “this is the sort of post I’d expect on a lot of blogs, but sure as hell not Guru! How can all this possibly have anything to do with the search for The Big Answers?” Well, follow Step 1 of The 39 Steps — Visit The Guru’s Guru often — and all will soon become clear.

Anyway, back to the jungle. This YouTube clip shows Jordan and Kerry singing and dancing to Madonna’s Like A Virgin (starting about a minute into the two minute clip). Note Peter’s mortified look.

Warning: This clip may cause you to rafflwaffle involuntarily

He went on to marry Jordan. Oh Peter, Peter, Peter...

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