Saturday, June 02, 2007

Jamie’s Existential Crisis, pt 1

A lot of tears are shed in the Big Brother House. But Jamie’s experience on Day 40 was something more profound. To pass it off as a mixture of stress from the weekly task and the effects of alcohol would be to miss Jamie’s crisis of self.

The catalyst was a three-way conversation with Aleisha and Andrew. Aleisha in particular was bothered by his analytical stares and questions. When Rebecca tried to put in her two cents’ worth, the dialogue was already quite intense, and Aleisha and Andrew asked her not to.

Jamie: “I feel really bad that someone had to leave this conversation because they felt uncomfortable.”  *wells up*  “I feel really crap someone had to do that.”

Andrew: “No, but it wasn't their conversation to be in. Know that, Jamie, it wasn't their —”

Aleisha (at the same time): “It wasn't their conversation anyway —”

Jamie: “Everyone has a right to speak to me. Alright?”

Aleisha: “Stop crying.”  *puts hand on nape of Jamie's neck*

Andrew (at the same time): “Everybody does, but it was the wrong place —”

Jamie: “I AM NOT CRYING!”  *Aleisha hastily removes arm*  “No, alright, I'm sorry. Put your hand back there.”  *laughs and guides Aleisha's hand back*

A teary Jamie
A profound moment in Jamie’s life

Aleisha is finding her way through Jamie’s protective persona in a way Andrew never could. Jamie’s constant analysis has been his buffer, but has isolated him — a double-edged sword. With his guard down, he momentarily has an intense connection with another soul.

Aleisha: *giggles*  “Jamie! OK, Jamie, no, listen. This is not a personal attack on you;”  *guides Jamie's head to look at her*  “you're a beautiful person —”

Andrew: “You are, you're a great bloke.”

Aleisha: “— and you do mean well, and today, when you showed sincere that you were very upset about what you had to say, was a prime example — look at me — that you were feeling very upset —”

Jamie (sounding teary): “I'm analysing you right now.”

And here is the nub of the problem — Jamie knows that his analytical behaviour is an issue in (and out of) the House, but feels powerless to stem it.

Aleisha (sounding kind and unfazed): “I know you are; it's OK, I know, that's what you do.”

Coming up next time: In Jamie’s Existential Crisis, pt 2, the HMs’ good will towards Jamie is put to the test...

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