Ins (2) and Outs (3) of Big Brother

Demet — Out

Demet’s sixth sense? Suspect. When flirtation becomes a way of life, a person can have a seriously skewed take on things. Having said that, a lot of Demet’s vibes were on the money. During the White Room ordeal, while Kara bawled her eyes out Demet calmly said “I think you were just waiting for an excuse to cry”, and carried on practising belly-dance moves.


Emma discusses her breasts Demet’s eviction
Her opinions of fellow HMs were biased to say the least, and on Day 25, while discussing Zoran with Emma, she threw in a racial slur for good measure: “I can't believe how dirty Zoran is, hey. Then again, I just look at him, right, and he just reminds me of like a — any wog boy that doesn't do anything, yeah, because everything's done by their mothers...”

It often happens that groups in society that have had to endure verbal attacks take up offensive words used against them so as to neutralise their effect. But two wrongs don’t make a right. And so doing typically causes the words to flourish and the groups to self-ghettoise. It’s a pity we didn’t get to see one of the HMs challenge Demet on this.


Hayley — Out

In the hyper-reality of the Big Brother House, absence has already made the heart grow fonder, Andrew having taken just five days to realise Hayley is the girl he wants to marry. “...Hayley's the most emotional person you'll ever meet,” he said to Laura on the evening of the surprise eviction. Well, at least he knows what he’s letting himself in for...


Laura & Daniela — In

Laura (like Cruz) should definitely have been a HM from day one. Passionate, complex and fragile, the week or two she’s likely to remain as an Intruder won’t be nearly enough. And what better HM for this year’s environmentally conscious House? By the way, according to this BB article, Queensland, one of the most drought-affected States, doesn’t allow the use of grey water in houses!

Daniela seems an astute judge of character, getting a handle on Emma after just two days: “Yesterday, in one day I really noticed a lot of her pulling away from the rest of the group to sit in a room and kind of whisper and — I know that she wasn't talking about me, but seeing that makes me think, you know, it'll be my turn eventually, and that really turns me off.”


Nick — Out

The Guru’s favourite moment from Nick’s brief time in the House came during his first evening:

Travis: “Are you a gay bloke, Nick?”

Nick: “Er, y-yup.”

Travis: “No, that's alright. No, eh, oh, no, I ain't 'oldin' back mate; I asked you, you gave me the answer, so good on yer.”  *shakes hands*  “Eh eh, eh, straight up, don't worry mate, good on yer!”

Emma: “That's just Travis — you'll get to know Travis.”

Emma’s Father’s Parting Gift

The Age reports that Emma’s father has passed away. The headline? “Grief expert slams Big Brother”. Naturally. There’s nothing like a little moral outrage to shift newspapers.

Emma's boyfriend Tim Stanton told News Limited that Mr Cornell had asked that his daughter not be told of his death until she left the house.

So The Age is outraged that Big Brother has gone against a dying man’s wishes and informed his daughter? Wrong. The outrage is due to her not having been told.

Mr Hall [a psychologist specialising in grief and bereavement] said that given Emma, who at 24 is an adult, she should be informed of the death even if it goes against the wishes of her family.

As well as needing to brush up on basic grammar, journalist Nick Sheridan should at least pay lip service to journalistic balance. Defamer reports more of what Emma’s boyfriend had to say:

“Her dad didn't want her to be upset or to feel like she had to leave the house to come to his funeral,” Mr Stanton said.

“He didn't want to ruin the experience for her. She might be upset when she comes out and finds out what has happened, but I think she'll understand.”

Here at Guru, we would go one step further. We believe that Emma will see her Father’s wishes as showing his respect for her and what she’s achieving. After years estranged, it is surely the most precious gift he could have left her.


Update: See Emma’s Brother’s Reality Check

BB Voting – a Guru Exposé

“It’s time to go, Demet!” Fortune has smiled on Emma: of the four nomination rounds to date she’s been saved in 1, 2 & 4 by the Twist, and Round 3 saw her up against Demet, the second least popular White Room inmate.

It’s annoying that the producers withhold how many of the total votes are Saves and how many are Evicts. However, armed with a paper napkin, Biro and steely determination it’s possible to get a rough idea*. In the TJ/Bodie eviction, about 45.5% of the total votes would have been Saves (mainly for Bodie and Joel). TJ, by The Guru’s reckoning, received less than 28% of all votes (Save and Evict), so the ‘merged’ bar chart showing her at 54% and the others all at 7% or less was extremely misleading.

Big Brother’s figures were TJ 54%, Bodie 7%, Zoran? 2%, Joel? -37%. These (as absolute numbers) add up to 100%, but it makes no sense for the merged votes to do this. With every Save vote cancelling out one Evict vote, the merged chart should have been TJ 17.5%, Bodie 2.5%, Zoran? 1%, Joel? -12%. Put simply, this is because each bit of green cancels out a bit of red the same size.**

In the Demet eviction there was a far smaller proportion of Save votes — only around 23% in total (Demet 5.5%, Emma? 13%, Zoran? 4.5%). Over three-quarters of the total vote was on the Evict side (Demet 40%, Emma? 30%, Zoran? 7%). The question marks, of course, are due to the producers not revealing which nominee is which.

The proportion of Saves to Evicts is information that should be out there. And if the producers did the graphs this way (a) the graphic of them merging would suddenly make sense to people and (b) The Guru could avoid some highly disapproving stares at restaurants...


* All figures here are approximated — the Solver plug-in in Excel goes into meltdown attempting these calculations! Any mathematical savants out there, forget about those pesky Fibonacci Sequences — this is your new challenge!

** if the graph shows Save and Evict votes in proportion, which the BB ones do not.

Big Brother presented the Save, Evict and ‘merged’ votes in the TJ/Bodie eviction as follows: TJ 11, 41, 54; Bodie 51, 47, 7; ? 9, 9, 2; ? 30, 3, -37. And in the Demet eviction: Demet 24, 52, 65; ? 57, 39, 31; ? 19, 9, 4.

Fading Sunshine and a Disturbed Mind

Sunshine is a film that stays with you. Flawed, certainly. But it is forgiven much because it dares to stare into the abyss.

Danny Boyle’s epic film is ostensibly about a last-ditch mission to save Earth by rejuvenating a failing Sun — a manned ship, the Icarus II, is to guide a huge payload directly into the heart of our sun. But ultimately it’s about the huge existential challenge of facing our fragile existence in the vastness of the Universe. A journey of a mere eight light-seconds, it nonetheless takes the crew to the edge of insanity. And our galaxy, one of some 20 million, is over 60,000 light-years across.

The abyss as experienced by the crew is a vast fireball, over 300,000 times the size of Earth, burning into the psyche. But also being faced is the consequence of failure: environmental catastrophe and mass extinction — humankind included.

Where 2001: A Space Odyssey (a film it borrows from heavily) envisions awe-inspiring new horizons, Sunshine contemplates awful oblivion. It is a film for our time.


Links: Review by Jake Wilson, The Age

Post-Bo-J: The Struggle to Stay Awake

‘The struggle to stay awake’ is the title of a news item on the BB website. It refers to the HMs’ weekly task, but could just as easily be about Big Brother viewers since Bodie & TJ were evicted on Day 22.

“What — do — you — want — from — me?” Bodie was at times suffocated by TJ’s attentions. Her answer was delivered to the Diary Room, not Bodie: “I want to be loved. I have a lot of love to give.” The Guru doubts TJ not one iota, and admires her for exposing her emotional core on national television. Together or not, their journeys in the House had only just begun.

Bodie had an impressive knack of getting under the skin of other HMs while generally* not being irritating on-screen. “I think each day more and more people get a bit more pissed off with things that you do.” growled Andrew. “I respect your feelings, but I'm not going to change — sorry,” retorted Bodie. This, of course, is exactly the sort of building conflict that makes for great viewing — you know it’s just a matter of time until ‘World War III’!

“God, don't let it be a double eviction with me and TJ, I'm begging you!” Sadly, Bodie’s god was not inclined to intervene, doubtless due to having a bit of a crush on TJ**, who’d said to Bodie “...if there was a double eviction this weekend I would like it if it was you and I.”



Bodie’s (and The Guru’s) nightmare scenario
“If you evict the interesting ones you are only punishing yourself!” Those were the sage words of Gretel on Day 18. And after six seasons you would hope the voting public was cottoning on to this concept — a houseful of dull, bland housemates makes for dull, bland television. OK, so Hayley and Emma are still in there, but it’s unlikely either would survive a public vote. And without provocation, they, too, don’t exactly light up the screen.

And then there’s the rationed sleep task. “Ever since this task started, the main topic of conversation in the House has been how tired everyone is.” These words, taken from the above-mentioned article, hardly bode well for gripping TV.

The Guru isn’t writing off Season 7 of Big Brother; it’s just a great shame such promising housemates have been lost so early on.


* The Guru will draw a veil over Bodie’s frequent rallies to chant. But here’s hoping the remaining HMs heed the words of Mike and Bree on Up-Late: “Please stop chan-ting! Please stop chan-ting!”

** Well, Bodie’s god is only human!

End of the Kate Bitchathon

The first official evictee of BB05 was Angela. “Who?” you ask. Kate won’t be so soon forgotten. And not just because of the controversy with the crying robot babies.

Kate’s time in the House, albeit brief, raised some interesting questions about bitchiness. For a start, how much of hers was as a result of the sad loss she’d experienced 18 months earlier? By Day 9, when the baby-caring task was announced, she would doubtless have taken stock and realised her behaviour thus far hadn’t exactly fostered popularity. What followed from Kate was a mixture of genuine reaction and manipulation.

After threatening to walk in the Diary Room, Kate went to the Chill Out Room with Thomas. “I used to be so passionate about what I wanted to do with my life, and I'm not anymore”, she said with conviction. But as she continued, Kate’s eyes rolled around as she looked upwards, a sign that her mind was working overtime: “And I don't look after my appearance much anymore”. The epiphany: she could use this situation.

The eyes settled down and she went on, “It's intimidating coming in here with, like, the Emmas and the Susannahs, and even Hayley and TJ and — well, you know, not so much Hayley...” (Way to slip in a bit of cattiness, Kate!)


Kate — the centre of attention
BB explained to her that the task had been withdrawn, and she then talked to the HMs en masse about her loss. “...I'm really sorry that I've been such a loud-mouth friggin’ outspoken bitch all week”, she continued, after neatly segueing through body-image issues.

The biggest insight into how bitchy Kate is day-to-day came during her interview with Gretel: “I really did need a gay male, though, didn't I, to bounce off, because I just had nothing to work with in there”. No prizes for guessing whether Kate’s gay friends are Davids or Robs!

Kate’s ‘support network’ of friends has obviously been nurturing her bitchy side — probably for years — alienating her from most of her peers. What she began to realise during her last 5 days in the House is that you can have stronger, warmer relations with a wider range of people when you don’t bitch 24/7. It’s a shame we didn’t get to watch that pan out.

Big Brother – The Bashers Within

The Guru has already sounded off against those Big Brother Bashers who wish to banish the show from our screens. But Big Brother also suffers at the hands of some of its own viewers.

The typical profile goes something like this: dips into the show, mainly when it’s made the news or there’s the prospect of a juicy noms/eviction ep; feels (or claims to feel) eminently superior to all of the HMs; talks almost exclusively of HMs’ negative, rather than positive, traits; typically backs the media when they vilify a HM or defame the show; pigeonholes their viewing as a guilty pleasure — something they hate themselves for doing; pronounces each season that the format has run its course... and proceeds to get right into the following season!

In Australia, this attitude has actually been greatly fuelled by the show’s producers, who are greedy for ratings, and have therefore been more than willing to cater to The Bashers Within. Last year it was sex — the producers working as diligently as the zookeepers at a Giant Panda enclosure to encourage some action. (This was another reason for John & Ash’s treatment being unfair. And inconsistent — BB05’s Michael faced no serious consequences for putting his penis up to Gianna’s face, despite her not consenting, and not liking it.)

This year it’s mind-games, physical pain and surprise twists. And this leaves Big Brother walking a moral tightrope.


Sensory deprivation in The White Room
The line is crossed when a HM (or would-be HM) faces a form of potential harm they didn’t sign up for. The White Room ordeal crossed the line, because the HM hopefuls were exposed to a form of psychological trauma they probably wouldn’t have agreed to beforehand. “Can they take anything else away from us?” sobbed Harrison. And Hayley’s Temptation Island-type ordeal courtesy of ex, Billy, would also have been beyond the pale had it destroyed her long-term relationship with Andrew.

The Guru isn’t against shock surprises in the House — if rumours that Emma was born a man are on the money, some jaws may drop — but the BB producers need to maintain the moral high-ground, and let the dramas unfold naturally. In the long-term, that will win them ratings, and The Bashers Within will fall silent.

The Truth about Turkey-gate

OK, so you’ve read The Plight of John & Ashley, but you’re still left with questions aplenty. Well here are your answers:


What actually happened?

Camilla crawled between Ash and John on a bed and playfully said “You're not going to turkey-slap me, are you?” When they said they weren’t, Camilla giggled and replied “You are, you liars; let me in!” John held Camilla’s arms, while Ash nudged Camilla’s cheek with his penis. Afterwards, Camilla continued to cosy up with the boys, flirting and displaying mock indignation about the turkey-slap to other HMs.


Was there consent?

Clearly. But I’m reminded by Thursday’s Find Me a Family — where a man revealed he’d been married over 60 years and never saw his wife naked — that not everyone’s as broadminded as Camilla. So if you’re having problems seeing past the words ‘penis’ and ‘held’, picture it being about tickling instead. The dynamics are clear — there’s not merely consent; Camilla is instigating the turkey-slap, and the scene plays out exactly as she intends.


So why did the media vilify John & Ash?

Headlines like ‘BB gives sociological insight’ don’t sell newspapers. The papers love to hate BB, and most journos don’t watch it enough to ‘get it’, only enough to embellish their scandals. Networks 7 & 9 are in competition with Network 10, so they feel it is in their interests to run stories which could help get the show axed. And John Howard’s personal campaign to get BB off our screens, based on his out-there religious beliefs, I’ve already gone into.


And why didn’t Ash, John or Camilla speak out?

They were gagged by their contract with producers Endemol Southern Star / Network 10, who were running scared after already being forced to cancel BB Adults Only, and who, in their panic, didn’t handle the situation at all well. John & Ash were given an interview with Gretel, but this wasn’t enough to restore their good name — the media was out for blood. They ran unjust stories, and John & Ash’s contracts with the production company left them without a right to reply.


So does this story have a happy ending?

Well that depends on you! If enough people realise that John & Ash (Michael Bric & Michael Cox) have been shafted by Network 7’s Today Tonight and the media at large, then there could yet be a happy ending.

As for Camilla Severi, she was BB06 runner-up. She’s just announced she’s expecting a baby — who knows, perhaps a BB27 HM in the making!